The Reality Of Dementia

I'm sharing with you what is the emotional progression of a family dealing with Dementia. My father was diagnosed with FrontalTemporoDementia in late March of 2004 at the age of 60. This is from my point of view as his only son, who loves the man who raised him, as the condition, and Life, moves ahead.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

My Dad's New Life

My dad is 60 years old. He was diagnosed with Fronto-Temporal Dementia. It is frustrating, sad, and as, pardon the language, totally fucking angering as anything I've ever come across. Here's why:

From The Alzheimer's Association's Website
Early indications of FTD often involve alterations in personality, mood, and conduct. Affected individuals may experience a decline in social skills and manners or engage in unusual verbal, physical, or sexual behavior. Initial symptoms may also involve uncharacteristic apathy, indifference, and an unwillingness to talk. Weight gain due to dramatic overeating is another common symptom. People may repeat motions compulsively or collect and hoard objects. Affected individuals may neglect hygiene and resist encouragement to attend to themselves. Another key feature is that people with FTD lack awareness or concern that their behavior has changed.

I am SO angry. I am angry for my dad. I am angry for my mom who has become a primary care-giver for my dad. I'm angry for my sister and I, in our 30s and entering a stage of life where the biggest steps of homes, spouses, and perhaps kids, and my dad may not be able to fully enjoy all of it.

I have seen, in my dad's progression, almost all of the changes above, except the sexual behavior. My dad has always, ALWAYS been one of the funniest, most engaging, charming, well-groomed, sweetest men a person would want to meet. And much of that is gone. It's like I have a new dad, and in that sense I am getting to know this man.

This is affecting my relationships, wherein I feel like I want to protect him from the judgment of others who may think lowly of his behavior. Note this, he's not crazy, roaming the neighborhood in a bathrobe and looking for cats to dress up. Sorry, I have to SOME humor to this. But I hope to show that this diagnosis affects EVERYONE who knows the affected person.

Again I have to restate. This is not a disease. This is not an infection. This is a condition. It can't get better. It can only plateau or get worse. And in the past year it has done the latter. And he's only 60.

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