The Reality Of Dementia

I'm sharing with you what is the emotional progression of a family dealing with Dementia. My father was diagnosed with FrontalTemporoDementia in late March of 2004 at the age of 60. This is from my point of view as his only son, who loves the man who raised him, as the condition, and Life, moves ahead.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The First Christmas Without Dad

By now you know of my love for my father, and the odd ring of Hell his condition has brought to my family. My mother has been a saint, working her way into all the roles my father used to handle, as well as the roles she has always been in. The friends they've made over the years have become family, stepping forward at a time when nobody could have imagined this happening, and making many days much easier for my mom.

I really hope I will someday find a way to repay those people. I can't thank them enough. In fear of leaving somebody out I will not attempt to name each and all of you. I pray God blesses you with great health and happiness, and to your family as well.
We could not have gotten through this without you. There's just no way.

This will be my first ever Christmas, #32 overall, without my dad. The past 2 months has seen a progression of his condition and the medication he's been on to stave off a few of the symptoms (speaking of odd and violent things very matter-of-factly) has also slowed him down terribly. He was speaking barely above a whisper for about 6 weeks.
Tradtional Western Medicine treats symptoms. It does not consider the soul or the inextricable intertwining of human spirit and it's human being. My greatest fears are that the medication has caused the progression or damage to his wiring, or that he's actually fully cognizant of all that is happening but has no ability to tell us.

I'm working to get some naturopathic views on his condition, to find a way to do anything possible to help him, heal him in some way. It could be a pipe dream but I can't give up and say "I guess this is how God wants it. C'est la vie. See ya, pops." He deserves better than that, and at the very least we will not be driving him further into the grasp of Dementia.

Last Christmas was odd, that's for sure. This one will be even moreso, as we come together as a family, then make our way elsewhere to celebrate and share love with our new families of friends. I know my dad would want us happy, and we will be. But happiness is much different and frankly, if I see too much happiness, I would rather kick it in the shin than join in it's carolling. Rum-pa-pum-pum, Perspective can be a Bitch.

Seriously though, without all the great Christmases I had, I wouldn't miss my dad the way I do, and missing him is what I'd rather feel. To feel nothing would be even worse. Perhaps.

Love your family, your friends, and your own little world. Be good to somebody today.

God bless you. Merry Christmas!

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